


The Misadventures of a Side Character

by GlassPufferfish



Category: Original Work
Genre: Dave is screwed over by reality, Every chapter is a comic cliche, Main Character is Side Character, Never trust heroes, Various fantasy worlds, and vice versa, reality sucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-13 00:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11748123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassPufferfish/pseuds/GlassPufferfish
Summary: When he was younger, Dave looked up to heroes. They were his everything. He wanted to be a hero. But that all changed when Top Hero 'That Guy' cut in front of him at the grocery store... ON. COUPON. DAY. From that day on, heroes have been continuously ruining his life.This is the un-told story of the humble side character, life often ruined by the dramatic exploits of heroes we love to watch. Join us as Dave tries. He really does.





	The Misadventures of a Side Character

**Author's Note:**

> This is a quick idea me and my sister wrote up, we loved the idea of the pain and suffering side characters wordlessly went through. We just thought one day, I wonder how that guy feels as we watched One-Punch Man destroy buildings and thus Dave was born.  
> Hope you enjoy!

In a world full of heroes, one man is on a mission. A mission to buy his groceries.  
The dull neon lights of the grocery stores flickered in the afternoon sun, illuminating the various side characters swarming the store like flies to rotting meat. In the centre of this chaos stood one entirely unremarkable man. As he examined the fruit, trying to find the best quality he grinned, noticing an apple with a remarkable red sheen. Reaching out to grab the perfect apple, the Mona Lisa of all fruit. Truly, a sight to behold in all the world! His hand delicately reached, his fingers barely brushing the gentle blushing skin of the lush juicy fruit before a fat meaty hand reached out, knocking him cruelly away. He gasped as the apple was engulfed in a glove of meaty despair and pulled away, like a lost lover. He turned to the villain who with a smug, cruel, conceited grin brought the apple to his masked face and...  
ATE IT.  
Defiled its beauty, tore it flesh. Let it juices run. He watched in horror as the hero, 'That Guy' violently sucked the juices out before tossing the apple carelessly to the floor, like a used rag. 'Fair thee well, sweet apple. I hardly knew ye, I only glimpsed your breathless beauty before it was cruelly torn away. Leaving you used.' He could no bare to look, tearing his eyes away as the hero left, crushing the defiled apple and his hopes under his Lycra cladded boots.

A little while later, as he was queuing for the tills, basket heavy and digging into his hands, a familiar meaty hand reappeared, blocking his eye sight as his face was pushed, nay! Slammed backwards into one of his fellow side characters! That Guy... Who did That Guy think he was? First his beloved apple, and now his spot in the queue?! It wasn't right! It wasn't fair! He reached out, determined, and grabbed the heroes fat arm... which now that he was grabbing he realised wasn't fat but instead very muscular... And That Guy turned to him. He gulped, nervous but determined. He was sweating and he balled up his fists. His throat was dry, adrenaline coursing through his veins. He coughed, weakly admittedly, but very determinedly! "I was there before you." He cried out, voice like a whisper in the wind. That Guy proclaimed loudly, "AH! A FAN! A SIGNATURE?" At this an attempt to interrupt was made but alas it was too late. "BUT OF COURSE!" With this an almost mutated hand swooped down and grabbed his aubergine. Oh god NO! Not the AUBERGINE! Too late, he watched in horror as the prick pulled out a PERMANENT MARKER and vaguely scribbled something that looked like, 'Tvcjcsgifejkdiujbk Gcushqdwjd;owiogb'. Even worse was the distorted smile he put next to it, face melting in a grotesque almost cruel way making him feel sorry for it. "AND WHAT'S MY BIGGEST FAN'S NAME?!"  
He glared up at That Guy, the towering Meat statue. Mustering up all of his courage he spoke loudly, clearly. "Dave." He spat out coldly, unwilling to give this man anything else to cruelly destroy. A booming laughter as that guy ruffled the hair of the thirty-something year old man. Dave was furious! Did That Guy know how long he'd styled his hair for? He hadn't as he was only a Side Character, but still! Imagine if he had!  
The aubergine was tossed to him, carelessly in a cruel imitation of the apple and he stared at it as it fell through his grasping hand. He watched as the smiley face of Tvcjcsgifejkdiujbk Gcushqdwjd;owiogb hit the floor, making a dull thud. He looked up but That Guy was gone. 

What an anti-climax.


End file.
